Children and Grief and Loss

Children grieve in a different way from adults. Grief will affect each child or teenager differently. Their behaviour may change; they may need support or someone to talk to. Each of them will take in information in different ways. This will depend on the child or teenager. It will depend on their age, and their emotional maturity and how they are told of the death. It will also depend on who has died, how they died, and the child’s relationship with them. A child or teenager's reaction to the news can help to determine how they will go forward.

There are resources that can help support children and teenagers in their grief. These could be for parents, teachers, carers and families. Older children are quite often carers to a close family member. There are specific supports available for young carers.

The following resources are from Australia and overseas.

Websites

For Children

A Carers Australia website for Young carers
Information for teenagers about grief and loss is available on the Reach Out website
CANTEEN is an Australian Organisation for young people living with Cancer. They have a network of members aged 12-24 and include bereaved siblings and offspring groups – young people who had an immediate family member who has died from cancer. They offer a wide range of camps and programs
The compassionate friend’s website (Victoria) has a website 'A sibling's experience'
There is information available from the Kids Health website (US) for parents on death and grief and for kids on when somebody dies.

Supporting Children

From the Raising Children website When someone dies: helping children cope.
The Cancer Council NSW has information on The bereaved school community including Planning a Memorial.
The Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss and Grief Network at the Australian National University has community information and resources that can help.
Palliative Care Australia has a resource called A Family Companion which is designed for parents and carers of babies, children and young people with a life-limiting condition or illness.
The National Cancer Institute (US) has information on children and grief including details on developmental stages and understanding at different ages.
From Bereavement Advice (US): Taking children to funerals.
CRUSE Bereavement Care (UK) has information about children and young people and funerals.
The Marie Curie (UK) website has information on 'Supporting a child when someone dies' and 'Coping with grief as a teenager'.

Brochures and Leaflets

From Red Nose Grief and Loss a booklet on Choices in arranging a child’s funeral (873kb pdf) (includes information on children attending and participating in funerals).
CRUSE Bereavement Care (Scotland) has two leaflets: the little book of loss (1.01MB pdf) and time with the children (581kb pdf).

Books

dying2Learn has a list of books to help kids understand death and grief

Last updated 14 January 2021